Maybe now I am wake up after these devastating months. I trapped in the confusion about what life should be and how to be happy. Yes, be happy. I was sad, couldn't feel happy, loose my weight, and totally vulnerable. There were so much pressure, fact that hard to deal with, and I don't know everything just so absurd.
Alright, perhaps this paragraph may be the official answer for people who judge me not serious with my study. This semester I only take several credits because I've already taken so many in time behind. So this is what I can do, take all the only possible credits. One of them is a big design project, maybe it's true that I am not totally focus on, but there is a significant changes on my career in fashion industry, I reach the point which I never get on before. So it's not a problem, because when we face the different kind of work, we need to choose which one have to focus and which should come-off second best. Hard decision, but I should take it.
I did googling for finding the way to be happy, the reason to find out my happiness. And most of them tell that you need struggle hard for doing several thing to reach that happiness, such as start positive thinking, surrounded by good people, and be grateful.
I talked to some amazing people, they totally support me, give the very motivating advices. They said that I deserve to be happy more that what I feel right now, my future shall be brighter if I brave to fight for it. And living the life as today the last day, but live it by doing the productive things. Oh it such a very motivational quote. Some other told to thank God for everything I got, and sincere.
Now, I feel better, very very better from months behind. I feel blessed, shining, and happier. I enjoy my life, yes I should, and I'll be. I pray a prayer from years back and still keep believing in faith, finally God show the answer.
And after all I did, I realize that HAPPINESS NOT COME TOWARD YOU, BUT YOU HAVE TO FIND IT